Waggas Agony Aunt answers your questions

DEAR Aunty,

My husband and I have adult children from prior marriages.

My stepson and his wife, have basically ignored my birthday.

I did get a two-word text message, "Happy Birthday" from the wife.

No call, no gift, just I guess an after thought.

I work very hard to set aside money for gifts for them and their three children.

We always get cards and gifts to them on time for any occasion.

I am tempted to ask them outright what I have done, but my husband says to "let it go".

We will visit them in a couple of weeks for a few days, and I want to clear the air before we go.

They do not do this to my husband.

What is your advice about asking why they would ignore my birthday.

Am I within my rights to feel hurt?

AGONY AUNT

BEING ignored or diminished by your kids or step kids is pretty awful.

Your husband is like most men and doesn't want the friction of confronting the issue.

I'm more with you, it hurts and it is hard to understand.

Two ways forward - confront gently and tell them you do not understand why your importance in their lives seems quite minimal, or do unto them.

Sometimes the message is clearer when you withdraw, making your care and contribution in their lives as minimal as politely possible.

Sometimes that can spark the discussion the obviously needs to be had at some stage.

Either way, keep smiling, I know being ignored or minimised hurts, but at the end of the day it really isn't worth losing sleep over.

At some stage these people will see the error of their ways.

BOYS' CLUB

NOT worth your worry.

Rude people!

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