My husband has decided after 15 years of marriage that I am no longer what he wants in bed. He has suggested we stay married and have affairs outside our marriage. His belief is that this will bring excitement back to our bedroom and therefore sustain our marriage.

I am seriously heartbroken and insulted. I think he will go ahead regardless of what I agree on. What am I to do?

AGONY AUNT

SOMETIMES you just have to shake your head at the uncaring audacity of people. 

The sexual heat in any relationship is a moving phenomena, as are all aspects of long term relationships. To decide that the only way to counteract a waning of desire is to seek it elsewhere is immature and shortsighted. Allowing other people to enter your sexual relationship can only hurt your marriage.

Now I know there are those out there who think that "swinging" is a great way to improve a stagnant relationship. I am not one. You have to work at these things. Dedication, resolve, honesty, loyalty and care are the foundations of good marriages, not running off for a bit of extra curricular activity.

I advise you to tell him quite clearly you are not agreeing to his outrageous idea and want both of your to seek marriage guidance counselling. I am not qualified to advise you on the ways to bring the heat back to your bedroom counsellors surely can assist and guide you.

BOYS' CLUB

STAND up and speak your mind. If you don't want this, don't do it