Dear Agony,
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My fiance and I have been dating for a little over a year and I have met most of his friends and family, all of whom approve of our relationship and are happy for us. I thought his best friend, aka the best man in our wedding, was also happy with our relationship.
We have not had disagreements and he is always so very pleasant to me. Yesterday when my fiance told his friend that he had purchased my engagement ring I was shocked by several of the comments his friend made, not in front of me, which included:
“Why spend so much money on a big ring for her? So she has finally got her way? and None of my business but I think you are making the mistake of your life."
I do not understand why all this time his friend seemed totally happy about our wedding plans but now is clearly giving him warnings about marrying me. I’m also not sure what to do about this issue. My fiance didn’t tell me about the comment, another one of his friends who was present alerted me.
AGONY AUNT
BEWARE the innate jealousy of the best mate. The bottom line here is that what his mate said is not as important as the comments your fiance replied with. I hope, although you make no mention of them, that they put this guy in his place.
It is not uncommon I can tell you for “best mates” to think they should dissuade guys from marrying. Why? Can only guess at jealousy, not wanting things to change and a fear of not being numero uno.
At the end of the day you are marrying your man and his “friend’s” role in his life should diminish. I say should not will. Some guys hang on trying to be relevant long after their use by date.
Hang in there and disregard this petty, two-faced man. Be courteous and don’t stoop to his levels.
Congratulations on your engagement.
BOYS CLUB
YOU’RE not marrying his friend. Let it go.
- EMAIL: aunty.agony@outlook.com.
- FOR HELP: Lifeline 13 11 14.