I don’t know what I should do. I am in love with one of my husband’s mates? I’m not sure how it happened but it just has, he is everything that my husband is not.

We share everything and the sex is so organic. This man is not married but is seeing somebody. I don’t think that relationship is healthy anyway.

He seems quite keen to continue exploring a relationship with me even though we have not discussed the nuts and bolts of my marriage ending.

I guess I am worried about the mechanics of the breakup and the possible fallout and reputation damage. Is there any way to do this without carnage? 

AGONY AUNT

WHERE to start? You are by your own admission cheating on your husband. To make matters worse, you are doing so with one of his so-called mates.

You seem very unsure of whether this “mate” actually wants you to leave your marriage, and whether he will leave his girlfriend, all the while telling me you “share everything”.

I have actually never heard of “organic sex” but I can tell you that you are currently having it with the wrong man. I notice you make no comment of the husband you are planning to leave.

Is he of no consequence in this sorry mess? Is your marriage so disposable that you find it easy to cut and run? 

Should you not have made some attempt to fix what is broken there before moving on to another conquest?

You ask me what you should do and I will once again say what I say to all those who think infidelity is the easy way out. Two choices I see for you. One is that you can confess all to your husband and wander off into the sunset with the new guy.

There will undoubtedly be massive fallout and your and your boyfriends reputation will be forever tarnished.

Another thing you might consider is that relationships that start under the cloud of cheating rarely succeed. Does it not concern you that your new guy is also cheating on his lady? Or are you foolish enough to think he would never do it to you.

Your other option is to get over yourself and stop being so selfish.

Fix your ailing marriage and try to make it work before even considering that you have fallen in love with the first guy that passes by. Trying to dress an affair up by stating you are in love doesn’t wash.

There is no way to make an affair respectable. 

BOYS CLUB

YOU are cheating on your husband with his mate and you are worried about the damage to your reputation if your marriage breaks up?

We think your priorities are a little twisted.