Please help me. I have left my husband of 10 years.

He was abusive in almost all ways.

My young children, 9 and 7, are so angry with me and blaming me and tell me that they hate me.

They have said they want to live with their father and of course he is doing everything he can to tell them what a terrible mother I am and how he will give them everything that I either can't or won't. 

My heart is breaking.

He said I should just return to him and all will be forgiven – I know better but don't want to lose my kids.

How can I make the children see the truth without oversharing the harsh reality with them?

AGONY AUNT

IT’S so sad to read this.

It is really hard when you watch your kids manipulated like this and fear losing them.

The reality is that they may slip away a little for a while, (emotionally), but most kids tend to be smart.

They will work it out eventually. In the meantime abide by all court decisions, don’t criticise your ex to your kids or in their hearing, stay strong and just be the best Mum you can.

Counselling for you wouldn’t be a bad coping plan and he or she may well suggest keeping an eye on your kids. In time this will pass, I promise.

Keep your eye on the big picture.

BOYS CLUB

CHILDREN are smart.

Why not share the bringing up – it will end up being 50/50 via the court.

Don’t use the kids as pawns.

****